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Reflections: first week on bear and halloween

Well, that was the week. I want to do more reflective writing as it helps my turtle brain to process things. What better place to do that than here, on Bear?

It's my first week on the platform and it is giving me hope. I only recently escaped the Big Internet and it's so lovely to read posts by humans. It's motivating me to write more, so I'll be staying here for the foreseeable.

Anyway, onto the reflective bit. I keep my reflections simple and easy by asking three questions:

  1. What did I like?
  2. What did I not like?
  3. What do I want to keep/change for next week?

What did I like?

So first up, I liked the fact that it was Halloween this week. I am a huge fan of getting my spooky on, mainly because it's more socially acceptable to be silly at this time. And silly I am. I played a board game with friends called Betrayal at House on the Hill which lends itself to relaxed play and dramatic readings of cards. I won't detail the scenario in case you play it, but if you like classic horror you would probably enjoy this game too.

I also went to my knitting group for a halloween themed evening. It's such a wholesome group of people. Before I joined last year I worried about joining a craft club and getting judged out of the door for being a messy knitter. Oh how wrong I was! Everyone is accepting, warm, and hilarious. I finally brought a friend along too, who is similarly in awe of the good energy in the room.

I took my doggy for her hydrotherapy session. I thought I wouldn't like this because it's as a result of an injury, but she enjoys it so much it has ended up being a highlight for her. She screams in the car when we get close to the place and then barrels around saying hi to everyone as soon as we get in the door.

What did I not like?

I started doing this reflective stuff again because the depression lens fell over my vision again - you know the one, where you can't see the good in anything. I worry a lot more about my health these days since having a major health crisis over the last couple of years. I've recently come off some heavyweight nerve medication, so my body is overreacting to everything. The combination means that minor ailments floor me for longer than they should, which is great fodder for health anxiety.

Coming off medication also means the return of fibro pain. I've lived with this as long as I can remember, but having a break from it has made it much more noticeable on its return. The stiffness, random joint pain, complete lack of braincells etc etc etc. I am constantly relearning my limits in this body. I had limits all along, but I was raised to push through them - it's hard to respect limits when you don't even remember what they feel like.

I struggled to take my doggy out for walks this week. She still got her exercise with my husband, but I wanted to be out and about more. Some weeks it's just not possible.

I have found myself in a book and podcast void with nothing to read or listen to (nooooo). Well, I do have a book club book I'm meant to be reading but it's SO BAD I don't think I can finish it (sorry book club). I have an assignment due soon so all of my reading is super serious and about road traffic accident data so that's probably got something to do with feeling down too.

Keep

Change

That's me! Onto November rides off in shining armour on a big horse

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